She Blinded me with Science!

Hmmmm. the science of eating more and exercising less, let's see, how would that go....

Eat more + Exercise Less = Big Fat Pig.

An interesting topic.  What is the science behind it?  I believe that E = mc squared is equivilent to the inverse derivative, or F = pi r squared, which means Fat is equal to how many pies 'are' eaten, expontentially.  Substituting Fat for Energy, you get the reciprocal of mc squared, which is Pie are squared.  Since pie are round and not square, it must be a cobbler, therefore, 2 pie in your mouth are worth a cobbler in the tum-tum.  Since the early bird gets the worm, and the second mouse gets the cheese, one could dervive from this that the second mouse gets the cheesecake.  Cheesecake, which is actually a type of pie, could be made square.  Provided that the mouse does not have an exercise wheel, then we could say that the mouse would eat more cheesecake and not exercise, hence, become a big fat pig!



American Woman, Stay Away From Me!

Wow, what can I say, that's totally hot!  Oh, you little tease, with yer simulated straw styrofoam hat, your patriotic sweatshirt and those cute, little, jean shorts with the American flag patches... Sexy!  The kind of gal a guy goes off to war for.  Like a 1980's Betsy Ross.  Like Geo Washington, I cannnot tell a lie, you are one hot mama!  If you were a President, you'd be Babe-raham Lincoln!  Schwiiiiing!

Disasterous Results as Santa tries his "Hand" at Toymaking

I don't know what Santa was thinking... it looks as though he has lost both arms in a saw accident while carving out a Pinocchio doll.  Not sure why Santa is dressed like a funky lumberjack... I guess these are his casual clothes when he's not making housecalls or public appearances. 

I think Redd Foxx wore this outfit on "Sanford and Son."  No, wait... it was Rollo!   Check out the video: Rollo and Lamont find Pot.  That Santa is one hip dude. 

Therapy in a Jar?

Really... in a jar?

Gee, I usually get my therapy in a bottle. 

As a matter of fact, I'd rather have a bottle in front of me... than a frontal lobotomy!

I am not sure what kind of therapy comes in a jar... aroma therapy? 

What I believe it's really for is this: 
Parents, who find themselves in some way making a mistake in the rearing of their children and pass on some psychological imprint onto their child's psyche, are to throw into the jar a quarter, a nickel, a dollar (or some other amount).  The purpose being that the money would go to their child's future psychotherapy when they become maladjusted adults.  The worse the infraction; the higher the amount thrown in. 

Instead of a college fund, a shrink fund! 

Either that, or you just put pot in it.


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Porcelain Clown

What kind of clown is this again?  Oh, looky here, down on the wooden base... there's a label... it says, "PORCELAIN CLOWN."  Good thing, I thought it was a marshmallow clown and was about to eat it.  Coulda broke a toof! 

Was wondering... is the dog on the ball made of porcelain too?  It isn't labelled as such... I can only assume.

Honey, Where do we keep the sugar?

"Honey, Where do we keep the sugar?"

"It's underneath the bowling ball!"

"The red bowling ball?"

"YES!"

"Which red bowling ball?"

"The second one from the left!"

"OK, I found it, thank you!"

Cha-Ka!? A Very Disturbing Anne Geddes Doll...

Check this out, its a Baby Squirrel Doll from Anne Geddes:

Not sure what this is... kinda looks like Cha-Ka from the old "Land of the Lost" TV show....

Or perhaps a bunch of Rippers from Tank Girl....

or ewoks?

I don't know about you, but seeing babies dressed up like animals isn't cute to me, it's kinda disturbing.....  especially when only the head is poking out...

"When I'm with you, I feel complete-LY GAY!"

Here's a little gem I found at the Goodwill Store.

Can you see yourself giving this beautiful figurine to your significant other, professing your undying love for them?  Perhaps they're snuggling up on their love seat, watching Jerry Maguire, for the fourteenth time, on VHS.