There's no Me in Team!

There's no "I" in team, but there certainly is an "EAT ME!" in there...

Freedom is not Free... ?

Of course Freedom is not free... it costs 99 cents at the Goodwill!

They get younger every year...

This gal sure does look young for someone graduating High School.  Must be sumptin' in the water in Seneca.  She will be attending Harvard in the Fall.  Doogie Howser, Look Out!

Ummm, what is it?

Send in your suggestions....

Curly Pudding

I don't even want to know what's in this jar. 



Curly Howard Pudding?



Curly Sue Pudding?



Jack Palance as Curly in City Slickers Pudding?

Fred "Curly" Neal Pudding?

Wha... Wha... What's with the hair???

In what world, on what planet, in what decade, was this ever considered attractive.  What's with the hair?  This makes me wonder about the whole manufacturing process of an item like this.  First of all, someone initially had to create this.  It looks like a demonic Pez dispenser.  And what's with the hair?  Then somewhere along the line, there were decisions made to manufacture this oddity.  Who approved this?  I find it almost impossible that you could get three people to find this anything less than disturbing, yet it was manufactured.  Not only that, it was sold to someone.  And what's with the hair?

Old Faithful

Old Faithful

These little statuettes from the 70s were all the rage.  I find this one mildly amusing, but what is it really saying?  That ugly people are more faithful than beautiful people?  Are they saying that since the guy is really ugly, he has no real choice but to be faithful?  Are they trying to say that beautiful people cheat more often? 

What's really funny to me is, on what occasion would you give this to someone as a gift?  For your anniversary?  "Hey, sweetie, Happy Anniversary! Thanks for sticking with me for all these years, even though I'm ugly, you're a real trooper!  Oh, by the way, I haven't cheated on you."

Honey... look what I picked out...

Shhhhh!  I'm picking my nose.

This is one strange wall plaque.

Perhaps it might have been made for a library?

Apparently, it is to tell people who are too loud that there's a boogy hanging from their nose.

Could be he's just sniffin' his finger....

Remember, if it smells like ass, don't eat it!

From Shakespaws' MewBeth

Thrice the brinded cat hath mew'd.
Thrice and once, the hedge-pig whin'd.
Harpier cries:—'tis time! 'tis time!

Round about the caldron go; 

In the poison'd entrails throw.—
    Toad, that under cold stone,
    Days and nights has thirty-one;
    Swelter'd venom sleeping got,
    Boil thou first i' the charmed pot! 

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble. 

    Fillet of a fenny snake,
    In the caldron boil and bake;
    Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
    Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
    Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
    Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing,—
    For a charm of powerful trouble,
    Like a hell-broth boil and bubble. 

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble. 

    Scale of dragon; tooth of wolf;
    Witches' mummy; maw and gulf
    Of the ravin'd salt-sea shark;
    Root of hemlock digg'd i the dark;
    Liver of blaspheming Jew;
    Gall of goat, and slips of yew
    Sliver'd in the moon's eclipse;
    Nose of Turk, and Tartar's lips;
    Finger of birth-strangled babe
    Ditch-deliver'd by a drab,—
    Make the gruel thick and slab:
    Add thereto a tiger's chaudron,
    For the ingrediants of our caldron. 

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble. 

    Cool it with a baboon's blood,
    Then the charm is firm and good.

Remote for Children

You could only wish.... I guess you could assign the numbers like this:

1. Clean your room!

2. Why are you inside on a beautiful day like this?  Go out and play!

3. Stop your crying, or I'll give you something to cry about!

4.  Stop pulling your sister's hair!

5.  Stop repeating everything your (brother/sister) says!

6.  Do your Chores!

7.  Do your homework!

Perhaps someone has other suggestions?

Fa la la la la, la la la la-tio!

From Wikipedia:

"A sex doll (also love doll or blow up doll) is a type of sex toy in the size and shape of a sexual partner for aid in masturbation."

"The sex doll may consist of an entire body with face, or just a pelvic part, with the accessories (vagina, anus, mouth, penis) for sexual stimulation. The parts are sometimes vibrating and may be removable or interchangeable."

I am not sure what she will do with that phallic light in her hand... but she shur has a purdy mouth!

Fa la la la la, la la la la-tio!

A rough day at the playground...

Ohhhh, how cute!  Is this kid counting to 10 while playing hide 'n seek or just banging his head against the wall after a rough day on the playground?  Poor kid seems to be missing a hand.  Maybe that's why he's playing hide and seek... someone hid his hand and he has to go find it... Watch out for that electrical outlet... you could lose a hand!  Ooops, too late...

Pie Trouble...

So, if the recipe is on the pie plate, and the first step is to line the pie plate with the pie crust.... how do i follow the rest of the recipe?  Stupid useless gift.

Da Plane! Da Plane!

She Blinded me with Science!

Hmmmm. the science of eating more and exercising less, let's see, how would that go....

Eat more + Exercise Less = Big Fat Pig.

An interesting topic.  What is the science behind it?  I believe that E = mc squared is equivilent to the inverse derivative, or F = pi r squared, which means Fat is equal to how many pies 'are' eaten, expontentially.  Substituting Fat for Energy, you get the reciprocal of mc squared, which is Pie are squared.  Since pie are round and not square, it must be a cobbler, therefore, 2 pie in your mouth are worth a cobbler in the tum-tum.  Since the early bird gets the worm, and the second mouse gets the cheese, one could dervive from this that the second mouse gets the cheesecake.  Cheesecake, which is actually a type of pie, could be made square.  Provided that the mouse does not have an exercise wheel, then we could say that the mouse would eat more cheesecake and not exercise, hence, become a big fat pig!



American Woman, Stay Away From Me!

Wow, what can I say, that's totally hot!  Oh, you little tease, with yer simulated straw styrofoam hat, your patriotic sweatshirt and those cute, little, jean shorts with the American flag patches... Sexy!  The kind of gal a guy goes off to war for.  Like a 1980's Betsy Ross.  Like Geo Washington, I cannnot tell a lie, you are one hot mama!  If you were a President, you'd be Babe-raham Lincoln!  Schwiiiiing!

Disasterous Results as Santa tries his "Hand" at Toymaking

I don't know what Santa was thinking... it looks as though he has lost both arms in a saw accident while carving out a Pinocchio doll.  Not sure why Santa is dressed like a funky lumberjack... I guess these are his casual clothes when he's not making housecalls or public appearances. 

I think Redd Foxx wore this outfit on "Sanford and Son."  No, wait... it was Rollo!   Check out the video: Rollo and Lamont find Pot.  That Santa is one hip dude. 

Therapy in a Jar?

Really... in a jar?

Gee, I usually get my therapy in a bottle. 

As a matter of fact, I'd rather have a bottle in front of me... than a frontal lobotomy!

I am not sure what kind of therapy comes in a jar... aroma therapy? 

What I believe it's really for is this: 
Parents, who find themselves in some way making a mistake in the rearing of their children and pass on some psychological imprint onto their child's psyche, are to throw into the jar a quarter, a nickel, a dollar (or some other amount).  The purpose being that the money would go to their child's future psychotherapy when they become maladjusted adults.  The worse the infraction; the higher the amount thrown in. 

Instead of a college fund, a shrink fund! 

Either that, or you just put pot in it.


.

Porcelain Clown

What kind of clown is this again?  Oh, looky here, down on the wooden base... there's a label... it says, "PORCELAIN CLOWN."  Good thing, I thought it was a marshmallow clown and was about to eat it.  Coulda broke a toof! 

Was wondering... is the dog on the ball made of porcelain too?  It isn't labelled as such... I can only assume.

Honey, Where do we keep the sugar?

"Honey, Where do we keep the sugar?"

"It's underneath the bowling ball!"

"The red bowling ball?"

"YES!"

"Which red bowling ball?"

"The second one from the left!"

"OK, I found it, thank you!"

Cha-Ka!? A Very Disturbing Anne Geddes Doll...

Check this out, its a Baby Squirrel Doll from Anne Geddes:

Not sure what this is... kinda looks like Cha-Ka from the old "Land of the Lost" TV show....

Or perhaps a bunch of Rippers from Tank Girl....

or ewoks?

I don't know about you, but seeing babies dressed up like animals isn't cute to me, it's kinda disturbing.....  especially when only the head is poking out...

"When I'm with you, I feel complete-LY GAY!"

Here's a little gem I found at the Goodwill Store.

Can you see yourself giving this beautiful figurine to your significant other, professing your undying love for them?  Perhaps they're snuggling up on their love seat, watching Jerry Maguire, for the fourteenth time, on VHS.